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A little help with the inside

Funny Christmas card messages

A Christmas card doesn't need a grand speech. One good line, a small joke and a bit of affection will do.

Here are 24 messages you can use as they are or make your own. Start with the person, rather than the punchline: a joke for your best friend might not be the one for your boss. Add a name, a shared memory or a sign-off you actually use, and it will feel more like you.

Short and funny

For a small space and a person who gets the joke.

  1. Merry Christmas. I've peaked at remembering the card.

  2. Festive wishes. Sensible decisions can wait until January.

  3. Wishing you peace, joy and the good biscuits.

  4. Merry Christmas. Consider this a hug with better handwriting.

For friends

Keep the teasing affectionate. The best line is one they would happily send back.

  1. You're the reason the group chat needs a mute button. Merry Christmas.

  2. Merry Christmas to my favourite questionable influence.

  3. Thanks for another year of excellent company and terrible advice.

  4. Hope your Christmas is as good as we pretend our plans are.

For family

A familiar family habit makes a message feel personal without making it a speech.

  1. Merry Christmas. Same board-game argument after dinner?

  2. Lots of love from your favourite. Rankings after pudding.

  3. Wishing you food, naps and sole custody of the good scissors.

  4. Thanks for teaching me where to hide the good biscuits.

For your partner

A little warmth goes a long way alongside the joke.

  1. All I want for Christmas is you. And control of the thermostat.

  2. Merry Christmas to my favourite person to do absolutely nothing with.

  3. Still my best decision. Even with your wrapping skills.

  4. You're my favourite present. Quite difficult to wrap, though.

For colleagues

For work cards, choose a joke that still works when someone else reads it.

  1. May your Christmas be merry and your inbox stay closed.

  2. Wishing you a festive break with absolutely no quick questions.

  3. Thanks for being more entertaining than the meeting agenda.

  4. Merry Christmas. May all your January meetings turn into emails.

For the last-minute writer

These are jokes about being organised, not promises about when a card will arrive.

  1. The card is organised. Please don't ask about the presents.

  2. I had a much longer message planned, but the mince pies needed attention.

  3. I spent far too long choosing this message. Merry Christmas.

  4. Warm wishes, lots of love and absolutely no useful wrapping advice.

Make it sound like you

Pick one line, then add something only the two of you would recognise: the yearly board-game argument, the snack they always steal, or the phrase they say every December. Finish with a genuine wish for their Christmas. Funny and kind work well together.

Read it aloud before you send it. If you wouldn't say it to them, change it. Avoid jokes about something they are having a difficult time with, and keep workplace messages comfortable for the whole team to see.

For a FannyDango card, your inside message can be up to 400 characters and 12 lines. Short lines leave room to breathe. Check the live inside preview before paying; emoji aren't supported, so spell out the sentiment instead.

Put it in a Christmas card

Choose a design from the Christmas collection, type your message inside and enter the UK address of the person you're sending it to. You can also use your own address if you want the card sent to you.

Check the delivery guidance before ordering. We haven't published a Christmas order-by date yet. Delivery estimates aren't guarantees, so leave time for printing and the post.

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